āTheyāre already looking at sites, trying to work out how many kids you can fit in an abandoned Zavviā
Quentin Shears, 48, is a partner in Newt UK, the recently rebranded Hertfordshire-based quantity surveying subsidiary of US construction giant Gator Corp. While Quentin has been coming to terms with his new mastersā work culture, they have been deciding quite what to do with their new outpost in Austerity Britain. As the practiceās schools expert and a much-put-upon father of two, Quentin has spent much of the past week explaining the intricacies of the British education system - such as why public schools are private - to his American boss, John Gatz Jr ā¦
I canāt help feeling that the governmentās free schools policy sounds a lot less appealing than the extremely expensive schools policy that preceded it. And while councils know where to go to get their costs managed by skilled professionals, this isnāt necessarily true of groups of parents turned educational reformers.
āWeāve got to get someone on the inside, Quentin,ā said John Jr, after heād called me into his office to discuss matters. āThereās a group going round, known locally as the Continuity PTA. Theyāre already looking at sites in the town centre, trying to work out how many kids you can fit in an abandoned Zavvi. Dr Parsloe, the head of RE at St Aloysius, is ready to join them, and they say Marjorie the lollipop lady is open to offers. Apparently sheās bitter as hell sheās never been given an OBE and is ready to move to the highest bidder. But, hey, thatās the open market.ā
I looked at him, alarmed. There was something about the phrase āsomeone on the insideā that concerned me.
āQuentin,ā he said, leaning forward, āI want you to infiltrate these people. Find out what their game is. This could be big for us. You fit their profile - you have that hunted, oppressed look that marks out men with young children. Plus, I remember you saying you turned your garage into a utility room last year. That kind of experience could prove invaluable in todayās education market.ā
So it was that two days later I found myself being ushered into the opulent drawing room of Greg Sewett, a City lawyer, father of Cosimo, Tabitha, Tyger and Aphrodite, and leader of the group Parents United in Serving Hertfordshireās Youth. āGreat to see you Quentin,ā he greeted me warmly. āThe more people we get on board, the more great things we can do here. You see,ā he added darkly, āparents are the future.ā
Parents were also, it seemed to me, the furniture. The drawing room was teeming with them, on every chair, divan and ottoman, a mass of anxious humanity united in fear of the local state schools and the prohibitive cost of educating a brood of four privately.
āYou canāt afford to mess around when it comes to your own kids,ā said Graham, a management consultant who was squeezed next to me on an antique chaise longue. āBut Iāve already forked out for a new Ford Galaxy - and there is a recession on.ā
The meeting surged forwards on a wave of shared enthusiasm, which was entirely unfettered by anything as obstructive as a shared approach to education. Greg was very keen on a free school heād read about in Sweden and its ātraditional pedagogyā, which apparently means they use blackboards. āWe need to get back to basics. Letās get Latin back into the state system.ā
āYes, what I like about Sweden,ā said Lucy, a stay-at-home mother of three turned charity entrepreneur, āis the way they let the children decide the curriculum. If the teachers arenāt working out, Iāve heard the kids have the constitutional right to sack them.ā
āYes, absolutely,ā agreed Greg. āBut letās not forget about discipline. A firm hand is whatās missing from our current system.ā
āYes, exactly,ā said someone else. āAnd we must offer opportunities for all! Equality of excellence!ā
āAbsolutely, yes,ā said Greg. āThatās why itās so important we do Latin. Everyone deserves the chance to study Latin.ā
āExactly,ā said Lucy. āI know weāre all eager to help develop the syllabus. But surely the first thing we need is a building - and some consultants who can offer their services absolutely free of charge.ā
āAbsolutely, yes,ā I heard a voice say. Disconcertingly, I realised it was mine. Iām not sure thatās what John Jr had in mind, but it just seemed like the thing to do.
As told to Nick Jones
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